Too much jealousy and trust issues in marriage will wear down even the best of weddings, as it permeates all aspects of the relationship. And it is very damaging, as the spouse can do little to reassure the jealous mate that there is no threat “there.” How jealousy ruins relationships It is any situation where the jealous person cannot control the circumstances and therefore feels threatened. The object of jealousy in marriage can be time spent at work or indulging in a weekend hobby or sport. The jealous spouse is not merely jealous of their partner’s friendships. Fortunately, that type of pathological jealousy is rare. Simpson as a jealous husband and Oscar Pistorius as a jealous lover. Pathological jealousyĪ small amount of jealousy in marriage is healthy most people state that they feel a twinge of jealousy when their partner talks about an old love or maintains innocent friendships with members of the opposite sex.īut excessive jealousy and insecurity in marriage can lead to dangerous behavior such as that displayed by people like O.J. The jealous pathology creates the very situation that the afflicted person is trying to avoid. They don’t realize that this irrational behavior is toxic to the relationship and can result in driving the spouse away, which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead, it gives rise to insecurity in marriage. They think that by remaining alert (jealous), they can prevent the situation from repeating itself. Apart from childhood issues, it is also possible that a bad experience in a previous relationship with infidelity or dishonesty leads to jealousy in the next one. The jealous spouse may have unresolved early-childhood problems of sibling rivalry, negative experiences with partner indiscretions and transgressions. The feeling of jealousy creeps up to a person due to some occurrence but might continue to happen in other situations as well, if not tackled carefully at the right time. There can be several reasons for jealousy in relationships.
#PATHOLOGICAL JEALOUSY FREE#
The jealous spouse feels a sense of ownership and possessiveness towards their partner and refuses to allow the partner free agency out of fear that the freedom will enable them to find “someone better.” Causes of jealousy in marriage They don’t understand that it is good for marriage that each spouse must have their outside interests. Their expectations about what a relationship is are not grounded in reality. They might think that “Forsake all others” includes friendships and hobbies, too. They might have grown up on the fantasy of marriage, thinking married life would be like they saw in magazines and movies. The jealous person usually does not feel a sense of innate worth.Ī jealous spouse might harbor unrealistic expectations about marriage. Jealousy issues often begin with poor self-esteem.
#PATHOLOGICAL JEALOUSY HOW TO#
So, before we move on to how to stop being jealous and how to overcome jealousy in marriage, let us try to understand what causes jealousy in marriage and insecurities in marriage. But sometimes, it persists ultimately transferring over to love relationships when the person starts dating. Most of the time, this wrong perception goes away as the child develops and gains a healthy level of self-esteem. When a child thinks that they aren’t getting exclusive love, the jealous feelings begin. It is observed among siblings when we call it “sibling rivalry.” At that age, children compete for the attention of their parents. Some authors see the roots of jealousy early in childhood. This is not healthy behavior and can doom the marriage eventually. They, in turn, try to control the partner by preventing them from having any outside friendships or hobbies. Their low self-esteem makes them perceive other people as threats to the relationship. The jealous spouse often does not feel they are “enough” for their partner. īut you might get swayed by media influence and wonder, is jealousy healthy in a relationship, as they show it in the movies or television series.Ĭontrary to what the media portrays in romantic movies, jealousy is not equivalent to love. Is your spouse unreasonably jealous? Or are you the one in the marriage who feels jealous when your spouse focuses on other people or interests? Whoever is the one that exhibits this behavior, jealousy in marriage is a toxic emotion that, when carried too far, can destroy a marriage.
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